Social Media & My Insecurities

Wednesday, 20 September 2017

It's been a long time since I've done one of these blog posts

Sort of a different blog post today but I feel like I need to get it off my chest. I've recently been feeling a bit down and I kinda blame social media for it. Well, not entirely but for the most part I kind of do. I've been comparing myself to a lot of other people recently and it's putting a massive downer on my mood. Comparing yourself to others is incredibly dangerous but oh so incredibly easily to do so. I say it's dangerous because it's so easy to get wrapped into someone else's life and obsess over them and having social media now means we can easily find out what other people are doing now.

Want to know what your ex is doing or who s/he's with at the moment? Just find them on Facebook and scroll down their profile and you have your answer. 

Want to see someone's bikini body? Scroll down their Instagram account and you can probably find one. 

Want to know if someone's booked a holiday recently, go on their Twitter and see if they've tweeted about it. 

Want to know if someone's having a good time without you? Check their Snapchat story, it's bound to be there. 

This is the stuff that I easily get sucked into and I can't help myself. I've always been a curious person, so I do enjoy knowing what everyone's up to but sometimes I find myself comparing myself to everyone else. It starts off as a bit of fun just checking all my social media accounts and seeing what everyone is doing to and next thing I know, it feels like a dark cloud is above me because it feels like I'm missing out on everything. I wouldn't say I'm a jealous person (but sometimes it's nice to get an invitation, s'all I'm going to say on that) but I find jealousy and social media goes hand in hand. 

It would be nice to get a over 100 likes on a selfie, but the world doesn't work like that.

It would be nice to be jetting off around the world and visiting all these different countries, but the world doesn't work that way.

It would be nice having a career and achieving so many things in life, but the world doesn't work like that. 

You just have to be grateful for where you are in life, make the most of it and roll with it. Who knows where it could take you.

I think the one thing that I get down about the most is my body and how I look and that's always been an issue for me, even as a young teen. I use to get upset with the way I looked when I was younger and just wanted to be 'pretty'. Just scroll through that explore page on Instagram (or whatever it's called, I literally have no idea) and you'll see 1000 of pretty girls on there with incredible makeup skills. Meanwhile, there's me who considers using two different eye shadow colours an actual achievement in life. 

You can find all these women on Instagram as well with these amazing bodies. Looking at all these different women with these dope ass bodies doesn't even inspire me to go to the gym, it just fuels hatred towards my own body. The one thing that bothers me about my body is that I don't look my age, I look a lot younger. I'm twenty two, tall but with a small frame (anyone who uses the word skinny can get in the sea) pale, with a flat chest and ass. As I said before, I'm twenty two, so I'm out of puberty now so I won't be growing anymore which means I'll be stuck with this body shape for a long time. I have a high metabolism so putting on weight is something that I struggle with. Seeing all these beautiful women does make me feel glum and down in the dumps which is why I had to unfollow a lot people on Instagram I enjoy seeing people expressing themselves on the Internet and high fives to everyone who feels comfortable with uploading a selfie of themselves onto the Internet. 

I'm sorry that this post is a mess and that it's all over the place but I'm finding it difficult to fully explain how I'm feeling with social media. I'm trying to use it less and focus on thing that are actually happening in my life and focusing on myself to make me a better person. 

I guess you could say that it's true when they say 'less is more' The less you see, the more happier you'll be which is why I'm standing back from social media. I'm never not going to use social media anymore because I'll be honest, I love tagging people in memes, it's what I live for in life but I won't be letting myself falling down any dark holes anymore. It's not fair to keep beating myself up and comparing myself to others anymore.


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