An Ironic Post

Tuesday, 28 March 2017


This blog post is kind of ironic...


A few days ago on Instagram, I uploaded my first ever selfie onto Instagram...shock horror, I know. And I know it sounds stupid and I'm probably making a big deal out of it but I'm twenty two years old and that photo is the first photo I've taken of myself and uploaded it onto a social media platform apart from Facebook and even then, I've only ever uploaded one 'selfie' for my profile picture and I'll tell you all why...

As a teenager, I never really liked the way I looked, not sure what it was about the way I looked but there was something that I couldn't put my finger on that I didn't like. Throughout school I wasn't really a fan of how I looked and I always admired the 'pretty girls' at school and wanted to be like them in the way that they looked. I just admired how they could take photos of themselves in the mirror (throw back to the noughties) and look hella good. There was one time when I was in the girls bathroom at school and one girl who I remember to be so pretty and stunning said out loud how ugly thought she was and there were two things why this bothered me. Number one; I really don't like it when people don't like they way they look (which is ironic) and it sort of upsets me because life is really too short for it and number two: this girl was ten times prettier than me if not a hundred times prettier than me and there wasn't a debate about it. She was just prettier than me, Want to know why it bothered me? Because I thought she was prettier than me and if she thought they way she looked was 'ugly' then what in the world did that make me? Ever since that comment I tried not to make comments about how I looked in front other people just in case it did the same to them as it did to me.

My college years became a bit better with how I looked, I came to terms with how I looked and what I looked liked in the mirror but wasn't really a fan of how I looked on camera which is stupid because we literally look the same. I never wanted to get involved with people taking photos of themselves and if I had to be forced into being in the photo, I would just pull a stupid face because I would much rather people laugh at the face I was pulling than laughing at how I really looked. It got to the point where there's hardly any photos of me between the ages of maybe 17 - 19. I would say there's about 20 (if not less) photos of me at those ages and this is all down to me not liking the way I looked in photographs. And it's not a case of "retake that photo because you can't see my highlighter!" it's more of a "I hate my smile and they way I look" sort of case. The fact that aren't many photos of me around those years makes me somewhat sad because it's almost like those years of my life didn't exist at all. I have no proof of what I was doing, where I was or anything like that.

As I've gotten older I have finally come to terms with the way I look in the mirror and in photos. I put this down to age mainly because as I've gotten older, I've learned to love life more and hating what you see in the mirror and in photos is such a waste of a life, life is way way way too short for all of that. I also like to think that my job has some role in it because the fact that my hair is always tied back - just hang on there, I'll explain why. Looking back at my college and school years I always found that I hid behind my hair. I never wanted to cut my hair short because I liked how long my hair was and how easily I could just sort of hide my face with it. When I was sat in lessons bored out of my head I found that I would just play with my hair and sort of cover my face with it (not cover my face entirely! I didn't look like the girl from The Ring.) When I first started my job I would tie my hair up and felt so exposed and vulnerable. I just felt like everyone was staring at me and looking at my 'imperfections'. Now that I've been tying my hair back for a few years now I honestly don't care about how I look, I've come to terms with it and if someone has a problem with the way I look then in all honesty; that's their problem and they need to sort it out. 

Uploading photos on to social media takes guts and now I'll go out of my way to like someone's selfie on Instagram of Facebook or whatever and to be honest, I'm all for selfies. Tell the world you think you look good today! I would much rather have someone upload selfies of them all day long than be miserable with they look and avoid photographs or anything like that. 

Want to know why this post is ironic? Because I haven't got the balls to upload a photo of my face onto my blog, ha! I'm okay with facebook because it's people I know and my Instagram profile is private so I get to pick and choose who gets to see what I upload but Blogger on the other hand, is a different story. Hopefully one day I'll get the balls to upload a selfie onto my blog!


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2 comments:

  1. I felt completely the same in high school but in the past year or so, I've really grown to accept and like how I look! And can I say, you're actually really pretty! :) xx

    franalibi.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. I'm so glad that you're starting to accept how you look! It's taken me a while but life is really too short to get down about what you look like. I just wish that I had felt like this when I was a teenager! Bless you, you're super pretty and cute! P.S. I'm a bit jealous of your eye brows, ha! xx

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